Tonight, I felt something that I always dread feeling: disconnect. I felt a disconnect from God and from what was being said to me by a group of Godly, loving people. Any time I attempted a bible study or to focus on one, I just couldn’t. I don’t know what was causing the feeling, but I hated it; I hated feeling distant.
Feeling a lull in my relationship with God is something I fear because I fear going back to times when my life was completely void of a Godly relationship. I used to feel as if God was a being I couldn’t afford to interact with; I felt that his love was one that I didn’t deserve. Feeling this disconnect tonight made me fear for my life, the one I’ve become so accustomed to: a life full of Godly love. A life without a love as consistent and full as His is a place I don’t want to return to, and feeling even this slight bump in the road scared me.
Although we must try as hard as we can to stay aligned with His plan for us, one bad day or one day of disconnect doesn’t mean that we must start over in our faith journey. God is with you no matter how close or far you may feel. The disconnect I felt tonight scared me into thinking that this meant that I was bound for a life of despair, God’s love absent. But man, oh man was I wrong. God’s love is constant, consistent. Just because we may feel a lull in the relationship doesn’t mean that God gives up on us, He sticks with us through everything, our highs and our lows of our faith journey.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow,” Hebrews 13:8. God remains. God is the same always, just because we hit a small bump in the road doesn’t negate everything we’ve already built up in our relationship. Let this be a reminder to you, friends, that God is there-whether you feel close or far-he’s there.
Thanks for reading, friends.
Love always, Abby
(photography: Emily Carder)